Dave Rhoades – In Transit

I was on E-470 yesterday morning about 7am when I went over a bump and heard one of those noises that you know is not good. My right back tire was acting weird and I thought…flat. But alas… the word that every shade tree mechanic dreads. The word that when one guy says to another, “What did you do yesterday?” The reply is a simple nod and “I feel your pain” grimace:  Struts

After pulling over onto the shoulder and then much to my dismay of crossing the gracey knoll in-between the toll way and an off ramp, I sat and waited for the AT and T roadside assistance to kick in and finally after about an hour and a half, I was in the cab of a flat bed headed back to Brighton.

Now taking your car to the auto repair shop will cost you between $500 and $600 to repair the rear struts. Or… you can go to the Ole Autozone and borrow a tool called a Spring Compressor and put them on yourself.

The main thing to watch for, as per the manual, is that the Spring Compressor doesn’t slip off the spring and run up yet another bill at the emergency room.

That’s what made me nervous.

If you’ve never done it before, you seem to find out the hard way what to do and what not to do.

Here’s my recommendations, from a guy who’s now done it…

1. Use both compression clamps, so if one slips off, no prob.

2. When you are inside the trunk, the top nut on the strut is hard to get off, you have to have the body of a contortionist and and extra arm and hand to get it loose. So, instead, take the two nuts loose on the housing around the strut and then once the strut and spring are lying in the driveway, you can wrestle with it without straining anything valuable.

3. Make sure you use the washers and seals that come with the new strut and if necessary, use some of the old washers off the old strut, they came from the manufacturer that way, so they must know best.

4. If this is your first time changing struts, know that the first one will take you about 2 hours to 2 1/2 hours depending on rain; and the fact that you are constantly watching for that spring to slip and careen into your head. The second strut will take you about 20 minutes, because by that time…

YOU ARE FEARLESS!

Happy Strutting!

Destiny

Jeanie and Me

Every morning when I rise, whether in the midst of darkness or the light of the morning sun burning up the atmosphere, I think of this picture. Jeanie and I were both around 8 years old at the time. I often think about God’s Destiny in our lives. I received revelation on this in the 1980’s with a song that is still near and dear to my heart. Kent Henry, worship leader extraordinaire, was fresh off of a several album stint with Hosanna’s Integrity, launched into the song that would so impact my life in such a way that I began to infuse it into our young children from infancy: I Have A Destiny. Little could I have even realized that nearly 3 decades later our family would partner with Kent and Carla and have them, just a year and a half ago in December, stand in our kitchen and minister to us with laying on of hands for me, Jeanie and all of our children and grandchildren and pray a blessing of destiny over our family. The same kitchen, by the way that saw the birth of Heaven Fest.

And so I have lived Destiny most of my adult life.

The belief in God’s divine order and purpose.

That we are not just randomly put on this earth like so many lotto balls floating around in the draw tank waiting for some “higher energy” to pull the lid off so that we are sucked into the winning trough.

Yes, I believe in God’s destiny for us.

And so, back to the double framed photograph.

Destiny.

The destiny of two children, Jeanie, from Iowa and me from Colorado that would be shaped and molded and nudged to a small Bible college in Minot, ND which is now in the middle of a lake, like most of the rest of the city.

But God kept it above the tide long enough for us and many others like us, to find His Destiny for our lives.

And thus, we met, and I still remember her walking across campus and me taking note of her for the very first time, and then… friendship and flirtation and letter writing even after she had to briefly leave campus and then, her all-important return. I remember a butter-scotch colored outfit and high heels and her smile and Destiny hitting me in my college noggin and I remember… work study.

Anyone that has graced a small college campus in the last 30 or so years will remember Work Study.

For us, it was a pittance to keep ourselves in toothpaste and deodorant and minimize our tuition. But for me, Destiny.

Jeanie’s Work Study career consisted of being the Secretary (in 1981 we didn’t call them Assistants) to the Dean of Students. I worked off campus with my brother-in-law, Ray Morrison who owned a construction company as we built houses that hopefully haven’t been destroyed by the Minot flood.

It was the end of my Senior year at Northwest Bible College, I had put in my time for God and Country and graduated, fresh with sheepskin under one arm and 20 lb Thompson Chain Reference Bible in the other; ready to save the world for Jesus.

And as I was so used to doing after 4 years of making the Northwest offices my home, I waltzed into the Dean’s office to say hello. It was the 80’s and slit skirts, pantyhose and high heels were all the rage. I loved the 80’s. But I digress…

Jeanie was lamenting about being stuck in Minot for the summer.

Now don’t get me wrong, Minot is cold in the winter, average temp on a good day, 40 below zero, but the summers? The summers were great. The sun almost never set.

And so I was cheering her with how much fun we could have hanging out in the North Dakota sun and a simple invitation sealed my Destiny. Two kids from opposite margins of the mid-section of the United States that God brought together in a place so remote that they couldn’t help but discover each other.

“Hey, I’m baby-sitting the Riddlehoover’s apartment – (they were my dorm supervisors who were back home for a few weeks) want to come over and watch Man’s Favorite Sport?”

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Man’s Favorite Sport”? with Rock Hudson?

Yes, folks, this was BEFORE the Rock Hudson outing and Rock was still the Matthew McConaughey of our generation.

Man’s Favorite Sport was a fav of mine growing up, so much so that I used it as an important phase of Zack and Jamie’s dating relationship in my first novel, Altar; See Chapter 31J

She accepted and with a lighter of pretzels and Kool-Aid ( something that to this day she still doesn’t care for, but fortunately in her graciousness and not wanting to damper our future, she didn’t tell me that that was not her idea of sustenance)we lit a fuse and ignited the next 30 years.

Well My Jeanie, we have outlasted Royal Marriages and most of the World’s Leaders. We have seen the birth of the Space Shuttle Program and now, as of about 2 days ago, the last Shuttle to breach the earth’s atmosphere. We have lived through wars, earthquakes, oil spills, hurricanes, floods, volcano eruptions and tragedies that have shaken places like Columbine and New York City. We have transcended countless indignities from Hollywood to Washington D.C. which, at times blended into one big scandalous mud pie. We have seen the rise of Microsoft, Apple, the personal computer, The Internet, and Starbucks. When we started, we wrote phone messages and then answering machines and now we both use Smart Phone with touch screens. We have viewed the inception of the artificial heart and the last ride of The Marlboro Man. And we have seen the final episodes of M*A*S*H, Hill Street Blues, St. Elsewhere, Cheers, Magnum P.I., Frazier, Monk and Seinfeld. The first movie I ever saw in the theater was on our honeymoon, Stripes and since then…we have never looked back.

Father's Day 2011

But out of all of this, we have lived through tragedy, deaths in the family and sorrow. But more importantly, we have seen life. 5 children, the marriages of 3 almost 4 and the birth of 6 precious grandchildren. We have seen all of our family grow up passionately in love with Jesus instead of turning out to be “preachers” kids that hated God. And we have seen them follow us into ministering to the needs of humanity and bringing countless thousands into the Body of Christ. We have birthed and laughed and cried and taught and preached and written and acted and loved and Heaven Fested!

And Jeanie, my love. I would do it all again! You are my Destiny.

Cozumel 2010

Happy Anniversary, to the love of my life.

me

I love you all.

3/21/2011

Stick Ability in a Slippery World

The other day, my class clapped for me when I told them that mom and I have been married for 30 years! People have asked me, “What’s the secret to staying married that long?” I don’t know that I have 10 Keys to a Happy Marriage. But I will share a few with you. One thing is to determine that divorce is not an option. Now before I get anyone’s hairs alighted on the nape of their neck, I’m not judging those that are divorced or get divorced. I’m saying for us, mom and me, it was not an option. We were totally in love and still are.

When you guys were but a twinkle in our eyes, or very young, mom and I set ground rules…

One major one WASN’T that we would never go to bed angry. For some that might be achievable, for me, sometimes not. At times, things do look clearer in the light of day, but that is a subject for another time…

A foremost determination was that no matter how mad we got at one another that we would never spew the word “divorce” or the implied concept into the mix. It’s not that there’s magic in that, it is a mindset and a determination.

It is the same concept to overcome sin in your life – the reverse of the Nike concept : “Just Don’t Do It”. If you’ve already done it in the heat of battle, don’t beat yourself up, get forgiveness and move on. But you can determine from this point forward NOT to allow it to be an option any longer.

This, of course, is NOT the society that we are immersed in. Every checkout tabloid screams the contrary. And one reason that this is so prevalent is that there is NO sanctity of marriage any more in the same way that there is NO sanctity of life. A healthy marriage relationship is considered out dated or blasé, boorish and out of style.

We try each other on like shoes and when they become out of style, then we toss them in the back of the closet or give them to charity and set out in search of another newer pair with more traction and softer leather. And unfortunately this has also crept into the church and Christianity also. Can any of these TV preachers stay with their wives or out of someone else’s beds?  “Well, God told me it was alright”. Really? I didn’t know that God was so nervous about Himself that he has to contradict His Word! But I digress… The problem is, we have a corrupt priesthood and God doesn’t put up with that for long. I’m not raining judgment on anyone and believe me, I don’t cast the first stone, just saying…

But nevertheless, you don’t have to let this be the norm in your household.

I have never smoked. Never done drugs. I don’t drink. I can trace everything that I have tried, just to see the taste: A sip of Champaign on our wedding night, a sip of wine at a Christmas craft show we went to with Pearl and Bryan, and when mom and I were in Mexico, I tried a sip of a martini. Hated all of them, don’t see the appeal. Nyquil is about as strong as I go. So what’s my point? There are certain things that I have determined in my life not to do and IT IS possible not to do them. For 52 years now.

You’re telling me, that the God of the Universe, that threw the worlds into being, aligned the planets, created a sliver of light in a dark void simply by uttering it into existence and sending Jesus Christ to redeem all of mankind; cannot keep you in love with your spouse and married?

We make things too hard and too complicated.

You have a free will.

That has been twisted to say that we can do anything we want, we have the power to sin if we like; and that’s true. But I take the reverse of that. We have the free will to stay clean. To stay in tune with God. Our will can bend to His Will.

You choose every day to do the right thing.

Satan has not the power to “make” you sin.

No, we get lazy. We let down our guard. We allow ourselves into places that we should not be. But we can determine NOT to do the wrong thing. We have a WILL. And that will can yield to the divine plan that God has for us.

You can determine to stay married.

And regardless of what is propagated by society’s thinking, you CAN be totally in love with your spouse until death and have stick ability in a slippery world.

Remember, my sons, the best thing you can do for your children, is love their mother.

And children, I love your mother. And I will continue to love her.

As your father, I bless you with long life, abundance, maturity, stamina, and long marriages. And I also proclaim it upon my grandchildren and great grandchildren; that they will be blessed, sure of foot and whatever their hands find to do, that they do it with all of their might and unto the Glory of God!

I love you all,

You are the finest people I know, bar none.

Xxoo

Dad/me

3/14/2011

The Broken…

The Fix: Love and Grace…

My favorite quote from Holiday Inn with Bing Crosby…

Linda Mason (Marjorie Reynolds): You’re a lazy fellow.

Jim Hardy (Bing Crosby): No, not especially… Just have my own ideas about living.

Linda: My father was a lot like you, just a man with a family. Never amounted to much, didn’t care. But as long as he was alive, we always plenty to eat and clothes to keep us warm.

Jim: Were you happy ?

Linda: Yes.

Jim: Then your father was a very successful man…

Grace and Restoration Fellowship. Remember?

That was the name that mom and I felt like the Lord gave us for our church.

Grace and Restoration.

Why?

For one thing, we needed it and had been through it.

I won’t speak for mom, but I needed Grace so many times in my life.

And that is what we tried to instill in all of you when this became revelation to us. Grace, the definition was always “unmerited favor”. The Word of Faith troupe that we were running with before that, decided that Grace was “Power!” Everything was always, POWER with them? And I agree that it was the power of God to give to us things that we didn’t deserve. But somehow they turned it around to be some sort of “power” that you possessed or wielded over others? Why they took so many of the scriptures like “money” and twisted them into a pretzel to fit whatever bandwagon they jumped on or whatever financial-thon they were milking this month, I don’t know. I remember a conversation at Prenger’s Steakhouse in Norfolk with a couple of “spiritual mucky-mucks” that was quite interesting concerning “Grace Power” but that is a topic for another time…

Okay, I’m off my bandwagon… Just simmer down…

Anyway, GRACE. Isn’t it interesting that so many times we are able to receive it when it is our turn for it but hesitant to extend it when we have been wronged?

But I love Grace; to give it as well as receive it.

“Just let them off the hook.” Pardon them.

Grace is a big part of Love, you know.

I Corinthians 13. Great chapter. So many of it’s phrases come to mind often. The ole’ King James says “…Love hides the comely parts…” We hide the weaker portions of the body and the Body of Christ: Those that are weak and sickly, the halt, the maimed, those that are less fortunate; through no fault of their own are broken, injured, of weak minds, the retarded, the ones arrested in their development, those that have been abused, those who have suffered at the hands of others, the damaged, the molested, the scared, the timid, the hesitant, the angry, the hostel and …the sinners.

Like you and me…

Love is manifest and puts on skin, in Grace.

There are times when I have conversations with people and they say things that are wrong or they are misinformed on something, but because of the setting or the people around us, or my respect for them as an individual, or Brother or Sister or Mother or Father in Christ, I don’t embarrass them by “correcting” them.

Love and Grace is not always having to be RIGHT. Not always having to have the last word. No need to show the world how much I know.

I have needed Grace and I have extended Grace; and both are liberating.

I hope that throughout your life that you could look at me and say: “So much of what I know about Grace I learned from my dad.”

If that is the case, then I will die a successful man.

I love you all

Xxoo

Dad/me

3-10-2011

I was thinking today of that line from The Great Debaters, Forrest Whitaker says to his son: “Do what you have to do, so you can do what you want to do.” And I couple that with the scripture, paraphrasing of course, as I always do, when Paul says, “…I have found it necessary to be content in whatever state that I find myself…” And I was thinking what an unsatisfied generation we live in.

Everything is about achieving more and getting more and the more we get, the more we want, striving, striving, striving. I see these people in the corporate world who are always looking to get ahead and seem the most on top of everything. The movers and the shakers, the ladder climbers, Mr. and Ms. Success. And I see them functioning out of their own insecurities because they are never satisfied where they are.

Now I’m not advocating laziness, never have, never will. “If a man doesn’t work, he shouldn’t eat.” But I’m wondering if the thing that we are trying to succeed at is just all dross. I know it is in the corporate world. You receive a plaque for achievement, you get an acrylic clock at 10 years, you get a gold watch and a pat on the back as a milestone. But mostly, any more, you get fired. The day of signing on with a company and staying for 30 years is over. And unfortunately, the corporation looks at you like a cog in a very big wheel that can be replaced at any time. (no I didn’t lose my job) But there is no loyalty from the company and the employees know this and so there is no loyalty reciprocally.

And so, time marches on, and everyday I’m up at 5:30am or earlier, stumble to the bathroom, turn on the shower, shave in the dark, grab a banana and V8 and I’m out the door to try and wake up while I’m driving to yet another room full of strangers that I hope I can touch with knowledge enough to better their lives and give me a good review at the end of the day.

But that’s not really me, oh yes, part of it is, the teaching part, the impartation of facts, the satisfaction of seeing revelation on their faces.

But the real me exists on a different plain, an entirely different facet of the prism. I exist in my imagination of putting one word in front of the other, I function well on stage with the hot lights blocking out my vision and eye liner burning my eyes and microphone tape on my cheek. I dwell in the secret place on the way into work listening to the Facedown album or Hillsong United. I live for ALL OF YOU. To see the great things that God is doing in you and through you, to hear the laughter of my grandchildren as they dig up my backyard. To feel the touch of my lover’s hand of 30 years against mine; just a word on the phone, just a smile on her lips.

Don’t ever lose perspective of why you are doing the things you are. Don’t forget where home is.

And if you always remember that, you’ll have the fortitude to stick with your spouse and your God for all eternity.

Never believe your own press and do what you HAVE to do, so you can do what you WANT to do.

I love you all

Xxoo

Dad/me

Been away for a while from posting regularly, as you know.

Nearly 25 years ago I started a file called The Life and Times of David A. Rhoades. I stole the name from the old Paul Newman movie: The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean

I began just putting down all sorts of things from memories of my childhood to my philosophy and theology of life. I did this for posterity, to pass on a legacy to the kids.

Through the years I have still dabbled in it from time to time; going years without putting anything down. Shame on me.

I thought I would begin to share some of the my thoughts again in this blog. I have been, as of late, trying to be very deliberate in my writings to my children and grandchildren. I am, after all, the Patriarch of my family and I can’t depend on any one else to leave a Godly legacy to my children and grandchildren and great grandchildren.

So, here goes…

If there are any of you still out there…

Some of the more personal items, just for the fam have been edited out, you understand

3-9-2011

I have been thinking lately about a lot of things. The attacks against our immediate family have brought me to the place that I, as the Patriarch of our family, need to be more deliberate in passing on what I know as a father and grandfather, husband, teacher, pastor and Christian. I have been lacks in that. I have been thinking of so many things that I used to teach you all growing up and I probably need to continue to give you the revelation that I have received throughout my life and the new revelation that God gives me on a daily basis, whether or not you have heard it before.

I’m sorry that I have not held up my end of the bargain.

Some will be long and some will be short.

I won’t commit to everyday, lest I fail; but as the Lord brings things to me, I’ll share them with the Biblical mandate… “I will pour out my Spirit to all flesh…and unto your sons and daughters and upon their children and to their children…”

Mom and I have been doing a lot of talking as of late about our childhoods and how we were raised, the good things that were passed on to us and the things that we need to do differently.

I know that while you were growing up in our home, it wasn’t always easy, being “preacher’s kids” but understand what we did and said was done out of love and we functioned in the best revelation we had at the time.

I won’t draw this email out being this is my first installment.

But something that I have been thinking about lately was something that I always tried to live by once I discovered it, and at times I didn’t mirror it.

“…as much as it depends on YOU, live at peace with all men…”

What brought that to my rememberence more recently was when Storm and I were revisiting the series, BAND OF BROTHERS because Richard Winters (the main character) recently died. There is something that he says in the episode named “Day of Days” after the first day they were in Normandy: “That night, I thanked God for seeing me through that day of days and prayed I would make it through D plus 1. I also promised that if some way I could get home again, I would find a nice peaceful town and spend the rest of my life in peace. ”

I have always tried to bring peace to our home and I want to, if at all possible, live in peace with all mankind.

I love you,

You are the greatest people I know, and I don’t say that lightly.

xxoo

dad/me

A New Year is upon us and I should probably get back to posting a few things…

A new year, a new era and consider the possibilities.

A new head shot, (thanks to our good friend, Ellie- Lilac Photography) just got done starring in Christmas Again and now a new performance coming in Feb. 2011, playing Grandpa Joe in Willy Wonka (Prairie Playhouse), taking down Christmas, always bitter sweet, love it going up, hate it coming down. More weight to lose. I’ve maintained my 65 lb weight loss over the last year or so, so that’s something to be thankful for. Still about 40 lbs away from my goal weight of 180, have to work on that over the next few months. Once I reach the goal weight I will have lost around 100 lbs from my all time high! In the midst of my writing, 3rd novel and working on a script for a Christmas play I am writing to hopefully be ready for Christmas 2011. Heavenfest will be here sooner that you think, Jeanie’s family reunion this year in Chicago, and another out of the states trip at the end of the summer, more snorkeling I hope (just learned in 2010 and I love it!), then back into Christmas again!  See 2011 is already gone! My how time flies…

My latest headshot.

This was me in May 2009 at the Estes Park Writing Conference and then me again with some of my weight loss in May 2010(same shirt) after just finishing playing Daddy Warbucks in the Broadway Musical, Annie. (not on Broadway of course, I wish!)

Jeanie and me this past summer in Cozumel.

In other news:

Saw The Fighter yesterday, great movie! Inspirational, the new Rocky for 2011 and at the end you get to meet the guys that it was based on. Of course, I am after Mark Wahlberg’s arms and I sincerely hope that Christian Bale is nominated for Best Supporting Actor; and he deserves to win!

How can we achieve anything without goals!

Up’d my weights on the treadmill so we’ll see…

Mark you are an inspiration as was Stallone to me in the 80′s!

All The Fighter is missing is a song like “Eye of the Tiger”!